This could be big

I'm not quite sure how to jump into this story, but I guess I'll start where it started :) So Tuesday afternoon I was just messing around on Facebook, wasting time mostly. I clicked on the 'Group' section, for no real reason, and saw (it shows groups your friends have joined) called 'Soul Edge for Girls'  

Back in November, this ministry team of 4 young guys, ages 18-21 - two from England, and 2 from Canada - came to do an assembly at the high school and also our youth group service. They really impacted our school and youth group as well. They were apart of this ministry called Soul Edge, which was almost a kind of discipleship training school. They would take a group of boys for 5 months, and they'd study different parts of the bible, have different focus topics every week, and things along that order. They go to Kenya for 3 months, and continue the 'bible studies' while doing ministry type work down there. Then they go to this christian conference in England (Watford England to be exact! :) that they are associated with. They stay there for 2 weeks then head to Canada (Saskatchewan) where the 2 boys I met (they're the founders) live. You stay in an old schoolhouse type building, and continue studying the bible and also help out with different things at their church. They also have a focus on physical challenges, along with the spiritual and mental, so they do different outdoor sports every week, such as mountain climbing, kayaking, camping, ect. It's kind of hard to explain all it is about, but they do have a website. www.souledge.ca  Anyways, back to facebook :) so I saw that, and was momentarily shocked, because I remember always wishing they would have a girls version. Anyways, I wrote to one of the leaders, and I guess this girl saw what I wrote, so she added me, and here she is the leader of the girl version. I figured you probably have to be 18 since you deal with a lot of foreign stuff, so I wrote and asked her, and she said that no, it's for girls aged 17-21, she wrote a lot and seemed like a really nice person. Did I mention she's from England? haha. Most the girls that go are. Considering I've been fascinated by England/British people since I was 6 or so, that only entices me more. Anyways, the course runs from January 8th-June 1st. It costs about 8k, which includes everything, including all the foreign flights, so that considered, it's  really not that expensive. I'm not really sure what to do. I had just finally surrendered everything to God, I was done trying to figure out what in the world I was supposed to do. Then this comes up, and I don't think I can handle trying to figure out if I'm supposed to or not. It's just so weird cause these last 6 months or so, even though I did want to go to college, I remember thinking, praying, and writing down (journal to prove it) that more than anything, I wished I could just be shipped off to another country, just do missions type work. Yet at the same time, I did want the school type experience, the fellowship and the learning. This is both combined :) I've always been incredibly drawn towards missions. As well as other countries. Ever since I could read I would pour over encyclopedias and childcraft books, reading whatever possible about foreign places. One of the weirdest things, that I was telling mom about last night, was that earlier this year (2-17-08) I made a list a life goals, and one of them was 'Climb a mountain in a foreign country' now, sure I've hiked, and even repelled off a cliff, but I've never even climbed a mountain in the U.S. so why I wrote that down, I don't know. The craziest part is, I was reading what the site said out loud to mom, and the biggest physical thing they do while in Kenya, is climb Mt. Kenya. Coincidence? maybe. Needless to say that threw me off a bit. This all seems a little unreal. My heart feels excited and amazed, yet at the same time I'm absolutely terrified. Terrified that after all these months of complete desperation as I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life, what God wanted, all the while everyone around me seems to have it together, that after all of that, I could, in fact, have actually found something. It's a bit overwhelming. 

anyways, any comments/suggestions/thoughts?